Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Bad day

Today's workout:
Run 1000 m
50 thrusters w/ 1x16kg KB (25 holding it in each hand) - used 16kg
30 KB swings - used 16kg
Run 800 m
50 thrusters - used 16kg for some, then 12kg
30 swings - used 16
Run 320 m
50 thrusters - used 16 again - broke it up into sets of 5
30 swings

Felt like shit.

The rest of this is a personal rant...please feel free to not read it if you don't want to read me whining like a baby...

I hate days like this...I feel weak, tired, and really frickin' pissed off at everyone. I need to be more disciplined about going to bed when I need to...at 9 or 10, even if it means I don't see DH. The alternative is for me to stay up until 11:30 to have some time to talk to him when he gets home from work, and then I spend the day being pissed off because he sleeps in until 9 or 10 and then works so late. I didn't sleep well at all last night, and this morning I felt so tired and so, so heavy. My weight is up ~3-4 lbs, and Adam says I look like I've lost a lot of weight recently, so not sure what's going on there. I am so, so tired, and so pissed off about it. My appetite is way off too. I'll eat if something is made already, but since I'm the only one that makes food, it means I'm not eating a lot. I feel like its too much effort to make anything. My heart rate is still pretty normal though - resting, about 55 bpm, and I'm not sore at all, so I don't think its over-training, actually. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow morning...I'm going to ask them to check my hemoglobin and ferritin levels to see if this new iron I've been taking is just not doing it. This supplement is by Shaklee, and for some reason they put calcium in the iron supplement...well, I know that calcium inhibits iron absorption, so it seems pretty counterintuitive. This whole thing could be stress too...I am really, really stressing out about our financial situation and this tight, tight budget we're on. All my clothes are way too big for me, and I can't afford to replace them. I want to get another job, but my hours at the gym are so all over the place, I doubt anyone would be willing to work with my schedule. I am so, so frustrated and feeling hopeless and angry today...hopefully this is the low point of the day. I hope you all have a much, much, much better day than me. :)

4 comments:

madison said...

K-smash, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so hard...Sounds like getting checked out at the Dr. is a good idea. Also, it really does sound as though this is more stress related than anything else, although it probably is manifesting in your appetite, weight, etc. All indicators for overtraining (e.g., muscle soreness, heart rate, sleep pattern) may not be equally sensitive for everyone. So, pay attention to what is and isn't working for you. It sounds like working for Adam and your continued workout schedule is a good thing in your life, but the career/income situation is not going so smoothly, still, and you have a very different schedule from DH. For me, checking any "all or nothing" thinking I'm imposing on my situation helps relieve a little of my stress level. Sometimes I want my workouts to really be the "success" of my day, and when they aren't, it's easy to feel as though I haven't achieved anything. Clearly, not true. You're doing so much. I'm sending you loving compassion.

K-Smash said...

Thank you very much. Everyone says its most likely overtraining...I just don't feel like I'm training enough for it to be overtraining. :) However, I have concluded that I am NUTS....so who knows.

I think I did do the "all or nothing" thing to myself this morning. I feel like if I don't perform my best, then the clients in class are going to lose respect for me as a trainer.

So I am looking at part time jobs to apply to. I've been looking for jobs in my field and not coming up with much. I'm thinking about applying for a part-time teller position at my credit union. Its not very appealing...I think I will be very bored, BUT I think the financial relief might make it worth it. I love working at the gym, and the best thing would be if I could get more hours there, but its a small business, so that's not feasible. Too bad. It makes me so happy to train people.

madison said...

K-smash, are there things besides exercise that seem to help you deal with your stress? You are a good teacher, by virtue of learning how to train people like you have... Are there possibilities in terms of teaching positions? Sometimes that kind of work complements training in a way that a more rigid, less creative job can't... Just a thought...

amber said...

BBG, you're so eloquent. I've never thought about workouts that way, but I wholeheartedly agree. When an already bad day has a bad workout in addition, it really wrecks my mood.